Self Compassion

Conversation Guide

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Have you ever felt like, no matter how hard you try, it’s never enough? We often extend more compassion and understanding to our friends during their difficult moments than we do to ourselves. This is where the transformative power of self-compassion comes into play. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the care and concern you would give a friend when confronted with personal inadequacies, mistakes, failures, and painful life situations. 

 

This conversation explores ways to move us through life’s difficulties with compassion, kindness, and understanding. By practicing self-compassion, we can establish a more balanced approach to handling life’s ups and downs. 

Background Information:

This guide was created in partnership with the Global Compassion Coalition, an organization dedicated to building a world based on compassion where people and nature are cared for and supported so they can thrive. The coalition works to inspire individuals, organizations, and governments to act from a place of compassion, to attend to suffering, and build communities of care and belonging

Let's Get Started!

Living Room Conversations offers a simple, sociable and structured way to practice communicating across differences while building understanding and relationships. Typically, 4-6 people meet in person or by video call for about 90 minutes to listen to and be heard by others on one of our nearly 100 topics. Rather than debating or convincing others, we take turns talking to share, learn, and be curious. No preparation is required, though background links with balanced views are available on some topic pages online. Anyone can host using these italicized instructions. Hosts also participate. 

Introductions:
Why We're Here (~10 min)

Each participant has 1 minute to introduce themselves.

Share your name, where you live, what drew you here, and if this is your first conversation.

Conversation Agreements:
How We'll Engage (~5 min)

These will set the tone of our conversation; participants may volunteer to take turns reading them aloud. (Click here for the full conversation agreements.)

  • Be curious and listen to understand.
  • Show respect and suspend judgment. 
  • Note any common ground as well as any differences. 
  • Be authentic and welcome that from others. 
  • Be purposeful and to the point. 
  • Own and guide the conversation. 

Question Rounds:
What We’ll Talk About

Optional: a participant can keep track of time and gently let people know when their time has elapsed.

Round 1:
Getting to Know Each Other (~10 min)

Each participant can take 1-2 minutes to answer one of these questions:

  • What are your hopes and concerns for your family, community and/or the country?
  • What would your best friend say about who you are?
  • What sense of purpose / mission / duty guides you in your life?

Round 2:

One participant can volunteer to read the paragraph at the top of the web page.


Take ~2 minutes each to answer a question below without interruption or crosstalk. After everyone has answered, the group may take a few minutes for clarifying or follow up questions/responses. Continue exploring additional questions as time allows..

  • How would you describe your typical reaction to struggling, failing, or feeling “not enough”? How do you think about or talk to yourself in those moments? 
  • How do you react when a friend or loved one is struggling? (Think about your tone, posture, words, etc.) How does this differ from the way you would treat yourself in the same situation? 
  • Consider the differences between how you treat yourself versus how you treat loved ones going through challenging times. What do you notice?
  • When you think about practicing self-compassion, what do you do well? What gets in your way? What would you like to improve?
  • There is a tendency to rely on self criticism for motivation to achieve goals. Does this resonate with you? Why or why not? What role does self compassion play in motivation to achieve goals?

Round 3:
Reflecting on the Conversation (~15 min)

Take 2 minutes to answer one of the following questions:

  • What was most meaningful / valuable to you in this Living Room Conversation?
  • What learning, new understanding or common ground was found on the topic?
  • How has this conversation changed your perception of anyone in this group?
  • Is there a next step you would like to take based upon the conversation?

Closing (~5 min)

  • Give us feedback! Find our feedback form here.
  • Donate! Make more of these possible; give here.
  • Join or host more conversations! With a) this group by exchanging your emails; b) others in person and/or by video call online. Get more involved or learn how to host here.

Thank You!